It seems illogical that in times of crisis a person would value a gift over a supportive conversation. Well, science says it is true. Humans are materialistic creatures.
How Did Researchers Find That Out?
Scholars have run seven different studies with people who needed support in average crisis situations, like stress at work or a bad day.
In some studies, people came to a lab with a friend or partner and were randomly given either a small gift or a supportive conversation.
In other studies, people answered questions online, imagining or remembering times they got either a gift or a conversation when they were feeling bad.
Here’s what participants had to say about gifts: “I was feeling deeply stressed about a pending presentation that I had coming up for work, and had spoken to a friend about what a bad mental state I was in and how I hadn't been eating properly either. She unexpectedly left me flowers and homemade lasagna at my front door.”
Another person mentions an even smaller gesture: “A friend gave me a big chunk of their chocolate bar when I was very busy and covered up at work and having a hard day.”
To match the value of gifts, researchers asked participants to share memories of supportive conversations. For example, one person said, “While we were in the process of moving from one state to another, my wife reminded me that even though it was a very stressful time, we would get past it.”
After receiving support, people rated their feelings. The researchers checked if people felt better and whether they thought the giver made a sacrifice for them. Gifts appeared to boost emotional states much greater than a conversation.
What Counts as a Gift?
The gifts and conversations in the studies were always made to be similar in cost and quality, so it was a fair test. All the gifts had these characteristics:
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Small.
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Generic.
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Material.
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Low-cost.
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Intentional.
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Sacrificial.
Here is a list of gifts used in the studies:
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Candy bar.
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Flowers.
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Basket of treats and goodies.
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Homemade lasagna.
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Freshly baked brownies.
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Full-size snack items, $1 each.
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Framed sketch or painting.
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Breakfast, like coffee and pastry.
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Uber Eats treats from a favorite bakery.
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Aromatherapy items, such as candles and bath soaks.
How Can You Apply It in Real Life?
A gift is a way to show someone support without words. It encapsulates how well you know a person or that you understand the situation and are willing to sacrifice something of your own to make another person feel better.
For example, if your friend is into wellness and supplements, consider getting them this one.