Friendship is strongly linked to happiness and life satisfaction, yet it’s hard to make friends when work, school, family, and errands compete for your attention. But making time for another person is key to building a lasting friendship.
Researcher Jeffrey Hall of the University of Kansas examined how long it takes to form a friendship in his paper, How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend?, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Reading through the paper gave me a headache, and I wouldn’t wish the same on you. So enjoy a simplified version of Hall’s complex research:
It takes 50 to 700 hours to make a friend. Source: Hall, 2018.
On average, Americans spend about 4 hours per week with their friends. So, if you can dedicate 4 hours of your time to one person each week, .it will take you about 4 months to become casual friends and almost 4 years to become besties for life.
It can take about 4 months to 3.5 years to build a friendship in real life.
But not every hour spent together helps build a friendship.
What Counts as Friendship Time?
In Hall’s research, just being in the same place mattered less than interacting with each other. So it’s not enough just to spend time in the same room at work or school. You have to actually interact in a meaningful way.
Here are six ways to connect with others.
For example, talking is definitely a great way to connect with people, but small talk may not count in the same way. The conversation should involve catching up or checking in with the other person, or involve genuine affection or a sense of meaning.
Author
Science Writer Vlada Sukhanovskaya
Read Next:
Scientific and Other Sources:
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How many hours does it take to make a friend? Hall, 2018, JSPR
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US trends in social isolation, social engagement, and companionship ⎯ nationally and by age, sex, race/ethnicity, family income, and work hours, 2003–2020, Kannan & Veazie, 2022, SSP Population Health
FAQs
1. How many hours does it take to become friends with someone?
Research suggests it can take about 50 hours to develop a casual friendship and hundreds of hours to form a very close friendship.
2. How long does it take to make a close friend?
Depending on how much time you spend together, developing a close friendship can take months or even years.
3. Does all time spent together help build a friendship?
No. Simply being in the same place, such as at work or school, may not be enough. Meaningful interaction is more important.
4. What kind of conversations help people become closer?
Catching up, checking in, discussing meaningful topics, joking together, and showing affection and attention can help strengthen a friendship.
5. Can you build a friendship faster?
Potentially. Spending more quality time interacting with someone may help the friendship develop more quickly.
Summary
Building a friendship takes 50 to 700 hours but meaningful interaction matters more than simply being in the same place.