Skip the awkward small talk. Three magical questions can help turn small talk into meaningful conversation.
Priya Parker is a conflict-resolution facilitator and author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, a book about how to create more meaningful and engaging gatherings.
What Makes a Question Magical?
According to Parker, a magical question:
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Connects to the conversation.
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Moves beyond small talk.
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Involves everyone in the room.
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Reveals personality and perspective.
Personal Story
Invite people to share a specific memory or experience. Everyone has different stories, so the answers feel personal without necessarily becoming overly intimate.
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What was the first concert you went to?
Playful
Make people curious about one another. Playful questions are especially useful when you want to make a conversation lighter and encourage spontaneous answers.
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What are three gifts you would give aliens on behalf of humanity?
Values
Value-based questions can deepen the conversation and help people connect.
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What’s one rule you grew up with that now seems unnecessary?
Good luck making new friends!
Author
Science Writer Vlada Sukhanovskaya
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FAQs
1. What is a “magical question”?
A magical question goes beyond small talk and encourages people to reveal something about their experiences, personality, or values.
2. What are the three types of magical questions?
Personal-story questions invite memories, playful questions spark curiosity and fun, and value-based questions help people understand what matters to each other.
3. How can magical questions help you make friends?
They can make conversations more engaging and personal, helping people get to know each other beyond surface-level topics.
Summary
Magical questions move beyond small talk by encouraging people to share personal stories, playful ideas, and values that create more meaningful connections.